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Thursday, July 7, 2016

Reflections on my birthday

I am such a ridged person. I laugh at myself as write this. I am so calculated. I am all about demographics to personal growth and self refection. I calculate that I've always been this way deep inside. I laugh at myself because I'm also not so ridged. I enjoy life and I enjoy people. I am fascinated with learning new and interesting things. Maybe ridged wasn't so accurate, maybe well rounded is most accurate. Which is pretty cool if you ask me. (chuckle) Really how "cool" is it to say, "I'm cool." (more chuckles) I sound more confused than anything at this point. :O) This is the musings of a sanguine choleric.

I take every year, starting in January to look at what I want to accomplish in life for that year. I look at what I've done and what I want to do within myself.  My children and autism have pushed me beyond my limits, thus growing me in ways I never expected. I understand the limitations that "Idealism" places on growth. It's important to keep an open mind about all aspects of life, autism has taught me this and more.

I'm fascinated about how much learning can be done in the universe. I want to learn as much as I can about as much as I can. I want to learn how to teach what I know, not just to A Typical learners but to challenged learners. Homeschooling has shown me this about myself.

People fascinate me. I am admitting that I am a 'people watcher'. I love seeing how people respond and their reactions to life. Life is tricky. We are always making choices and with each choice is the consequence to the choice made (good or bad). We can follow the group or we can set ourselves apart. I predict that many have watched my life unfold as I have made decisions for my family, as well as the challenges that our family has faced over the past several years. Autism is challenging. The day that Joshuah was diagnosed our neurologist warned us that it would be. I know that there may have been better ways to handle those challenges. It's my hope to learn from those choices and grow from them. I have reflected over these difficult decisions many times. I have questioned God, asking, "how I could have done better?"

I do not want to be average at anything I do this year or in the coming years. So this year, I want to be a better wife, mother, writer, housekeeper, and most of all a better Christian. I am thankful for the things that my God has blessed me with. I consider my family the best blessing of all.

I realize that to be successful at anything one must learn to prioritize the things that they commit to. I have had to reevaluate some things and choose carefully the jobs that I commit to. I have been blessed with a call to homeschool my children. This is a huge commitment. It is one that requires my time. Every day all day long kind of commitment. I have had to push other things aside to do this. I am making the investment every day that I wake up and put my home and family first. I have sacrificed much for this decision. I know that the investment is worth it. I think about Titus 2:11 as it says that women are to be keepers at home. It doesn't say keepers of the home, it says keepers at home. Training up my kids by putting the influences in their life that are going to help them grow and improve as the individuals that God made them to be is extremely important. I have to admit how great this job feels to me. I feel so incredibly honored to be at home raising my two who happen to have autism, to love the Lord and to serve him with their whole heart.

Today, I surrender an other year over to the Lord.

I want to thank everyone who wished me a happy birthday yesterday. I had a great time with my family and friends.

Signing off for now,
Shelli Allen, My Kids Mom

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Is It Time For Bed Yet???

I've had one of those days that started at 2AM.  I hear all the autism mom's say, "Oh!!!! One of those days," as they lift their coffee cups to me. I went to bed at 12:30 something. I was trying to get some leftover things finished from the day. My eyes finally closed and I may or may not have hit REM sleep when I hear, "Peppa Pig. Peppa Piggggg." I open one eye and see my adorable blond headed, now evil child handing me the remote. She then repeats, "Peppa Pigggg." Honestly the thought of Peppa Pig playing in my REM cycle is haunting. On the other hand, if it means that I get to sleep a little longer--well request was granted. 30min. later, "Peppa Piggggg...." This went on until about 5:30AM. My husband is up getting ready for work. I realize that the never ending request for Peppa Pig has ended. Thirty minutes past and I feel the beauty sleep coming over me and then I hear the vacuum cleaner running. I pause for a moment to process and jerk right out of my questionable "sleep" when it registers --that's in my ROOM!!! "JOSH!!!! GO BACK TO BED!!!" Josh was not happy about being told to go back to bed. He was on like #5 on his today's to do list. He is extremely driven except when sleep was involved.

I staggered out of bed and escort Josh to an area of the house which is an acceptable place for which he can vacuum. Maybe Izzy will go back to sleep. Maybe she'll get just enough sleep that will ward off the emotional basket-case she becomes when she hasn't got enough sleep. There is no COFFEE!!! None! So I start up the laundry. Our kiddos are heading to camp this weekend for the first time. I have been mulling over all the "What if's???" that could happen at camp. My brain is working over time today on little sleep. Laundry got going and I check my emails. Go Daddy was needing me to take care of somethings so I set down at the computer and went to grab the phone to call them. My phone was not where I put it. This is why I'll keep my iPhone. I love that I can click on the find my phone button and it beeps. I follow the sound of the beeping and realize that my phone is down the air vent. Anytime this happens we know that Josh was the culprit. This is what he does. He puts things in the vents. I have lost several hair brushes, cords, and phones down the air vents of this house. Josh rescues my phone and I have happy again.

With a few more set backs,  I get back to the website issue. I don't mind this really. Go Daddy is always great on the support lines. But it took me about an hour to get "issue" worked out. Trying to fix issues while on the cell phone with my two kids running wild through the house is the biggest challenge to this situation.

The day was much too long. It's Wednesday and all through the school year Josh has OT on Wednesdays, but we are on the summer schedule and we have therapy on Thursdays. I am still on school schedule and I'm making sure that Josh has clean clothes to wear to therapy. This is one of the down falls of having to leave the house. You have to put "real" clothes on and they have to be clean. I also have pre-work that I do to prepare Josh for the therapy session. I want the session to be good so I prepare Josh ahead of time. I make sure that he knows that tonight is therapy night and I go through the steps that we will take to get to therapy. I'm in this process and look down at my phone and realize it is already 4:15PM. Therapy is at 4:45PM. I quickly text Patrick, my husband, and make sure that he is going to be home in time to take Izzy so I can take Josh to therapy. Just as I sent the text it clicked with me that we are on the summer schedule and it's not Thursday. Did I mention that I am exhausted. I could go to bed right now, but now I have to think about what I'm going to feed my family.

My brain is in over load and I realize that I need some "me time" to get me through the rest of the evening. My idea involves a hot bath with the door locked. My kids hate a locked door. It is my best friend. :0) I hang out in there and decide that I was not going to be functional enough for a meal preparation worthy enough for my families high standards. I thumbed through Facebook and see that homeschool mom Heidi St. John was having Lucky Charms for dinner. She is a famous homeschool mom and for a brief moment I considered the cereal thing too. If she can pull it off, why couldn't I. I could hear my husband say, "Where's the meat?" My kids don't eat cereal for breakfast--ever. They wouldn't hear of me trying to feed them cereal now and for dinner no less. Then in the midst of my despair my husband unlocks the bathroom door and says I put chicken on the grill. It was like the heavenly host just joined me with the hallelujah chorus.

I really see these moments as witness to how incredibly great my husband is. I am so thankful for him. I am confident, at times, that he doesn't see how much I need him to help me in the evenings with the kids. Then he pulls this off. It was exactly what I needed to get through the evening. Having someone that supports you like a husband/wife can is priceless. I'm thankful for the gift I have in my husband. I'm sure that I don't tell him enough.

Well... I'm off of here for now. My bed misses me. The backs of my eyes would like to see more of me.

Good night.

God Bless

Shelli, My kids Mom

Friday, May 27, 2016

Dear God, What are you trying to tell me here???

So I am going to share with you a little secrete about me. I know this could be all kinds of wrong, but I'm going to do it.

I keep a prayer journal. When I can't physically pray for what I need  or I want a reminder of what I am praying for it goes in my prayer journal. I usually start out with Dear God.... unless I'm too mad at God and I don't want to be struck down by lighting for which I just start without a Dear anything. I do get mad at God on occasion. I don't like to make a habit of it. I don't think that is a good practice to get into, but I think that it maybe normal-- only DON'T MAKE IT A HABIT.

God has been showing me things about myself that are helping me get over other things that I am struggling with in my life. God is a good friend like that. So here it is... I'm am an imperfect perfectionist. I say imperfect because I am trying extremely hard to be completely honest here. I see things as they should be. (yikes here we go!!!) Let me give you some background. I grew up with an education in servant hood and hospitality most of this training came from involvement in the church. When I became old enough to work in the public, I got training in management and customer service. I was taught to be-the-best at everything that you set your hands to do. Do it well! Look for ways to improve yourself so that you master to advancement. Never half way do anything. I think I heard the voice of my mother as I typed that out on the key board--yikes!! Do everything as though you are doing it as unto the Lord-- ok there was my Dad's voice. Wooo! So this stuck. Thanks mom and dad.

So the other day, I am trying to process a situation that I am trying to figure out concerning my children. I do want what is best for them, in every area of their life. I fester (gross, but accurate) on the challenges that concern my children. I even get mad at God. He knows it and I know. My husband probably knows it too. My husband becomes my God in the flesh (Don't over think that). I take my frustrations out on him.

So God and I are talking about this challenge (I don't think challenge is relevant to this blog post. Maybe I'll go into details to the challenge specifics later, but not now.) The challenge has backed me into a metaphorical wall and I've done everything I know to do. This frustrates me! Next to being a 'imperfect perfectionist' I'm also the worlds worst control freak. When it comes to your children and you are a perfectionist, a control freak, and incredibly driven-- it's not pretty. It's ugly. Everyone involved that is not meeting the expectations becomes my target. It's gross--I told you it was. So God and I are yelling about me and this challenge and he says, "Shelli, you are an IDEALISTIC." Which is incorrect apparently cause I looked it up. I'm actually I'm an IDEALIST. ***Sigh.. for the sake of me just claiming that God made a mistake I'll say that I might have been the one that misunderstood HIM. ;0) **sorry God**

Idealistic means: "Characterized by idealism; unrealistically aiming for perfection"
An Idealist is:
"a person who cherishes or pursues high or noble principles, purposes, goals, etc."  

Both were kinda right on. This sent me on this self reflecting journey that lead me to take hold of God hand and let HIM lead me once again. I think they call that submission. (that's a hard word to swallow). I pause here---

So I'm at church last night and our pastor preaches (more like teaches) right to me. I love that God can give us prospective even when we are fighting. Ha!Ha! The first verse that was read was Matthew 6:25-32 "Therefore take not thought for your life..." This passage goes on and talks about not worrying about what you will eat, what you'll drink, or what clothes that you will wear. In verse 30 Jesus said, "...O ye of little faith". Ok humor me, but I think by this point, in my fighting with God about my challenges, I got God slapped and HE told me that I was of little faith. I'm a child of God-- I'm not like the heathens he was talking about in that passage (you should go back and read all of that by the way) I should know better!!!

And then at Matthew 6:33,34 Says this...
"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. 34. Take therefore no thought for the morrow; for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof."

Be anxious for nothing. I know who holds my tomorrow. Sometimes the imperfect perfectionist, control freak, idealistic/idealist, driven mama in me needs a reminder. I can't control everything. Here are some verses that my pastor shared last night that I'm mulling over today in my devotions:
Palms 37: 5
"Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass."
Psalms 55:22
"Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved."
Proverbs 16:3
"Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established."
I Peter 5:7
"Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you."
Philippians 4:6
"Be careful for nothing, but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God."

So I think I got the message loud and clear. God's got this! I can turn lose. I've prayed (well...God and I had a few words), and I have done all I know to do. God has got this. I love the verse in Exodus 14 and 14..."The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace."  What a great promise. I'll take it!

I hope that me sharing this today has been a help to those of you who read my blog. Thank you for hanging on through my ramblings. I love that we can have a 'real' relationship with our heavenly father. He does care for us. He loves us and wants what is best for us. Jeremiah 29:11.

Let God lead you through your challenges today.

Shelli, My Kids MOM

Thursday, May 26, 2016

This is the Mom GIG!

SO what does this "Mom Job" include??? I am consistently surprised by the conflict that the enemy causes in the minds of christian moms. It's no surprise to me that we are always looking for the easy way out of life, but didn't we sign up for this??

I go back to the word of God and I am wowed by how we are so deliberate about some verses and others we look at as less important. It's the whole word of God that is going to give us direction to live a christian life, holy and acceptable to our God. It will be on that faithful day that we get to heaven and the King of all Kings will be standing there with the Lambs Book of Life and the Word of God. He will either look at us and "say enter in" or "depart from me." As believers, the goal should be to hear him say, "Enter in." The bible should be the final authority for which we make every decision in our lives.  How to be our kids mom should be no different.

Confusion is not of God. When we start to feel the enemy toying with our thoughts and emotions,  it is important that we go back to the word of God to find our clarity. Sometimes being my kids mom is going to be tough. Kids have this way of pushing us to the edge of the cliff and even attempt to push us over.I think they like to hear us scream! Mom's we have to be strong. Our kids are counting on us to speak truth into their lives and to teach them what they need so that they too can be mighty warriors for Christ.

Our kids need to see us on our knees; they need to hear us praying over them. We need to take our kids hands and lead them so when it is time to launch them into this world the path is so clear that they too can not be confused by the enemy. We can not be lazy about this "mom gig", just because we like easy. Parenting is never easy. Parent with purpose. When we parent with the word of God as our guide we can also parent with confidence. Galatians 6:9 says, " And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." I find it interesting that Paul uses the word 'season' here. We are only given a season of time to train our children. We have to use our time wisely. This is the "Mom GIG!" You can do it!

"To be a mother is by no means second class. Men may have the authority in the home, but the women have the influence. The mother, more than the father, is the one who molds and shapes those little lives from day one."--John MacArthur.

God guide your hearts and minds.
Shelli, My Kids Mom

Thursday, May 5, 2016

National Day of Prayer

Today is the National Day of Prayer. Local and global organizations are coming together today and embracing the power of prayer. I am participating in this day with my children and making this a teaching day that is focused on teaching my kids about prayer and how to pray. I hope that the example I leave my kids in prayer helps them come to their own prayer walk with God.

The bible is the first thing I like to take with me into prayer. The bible gives us several verses on prayer.

Hebrews 5:7 (Kjv) "Who in the days of flesh, when he had offered up prayers and supplications with strong crying and tears unto him that was able to save him from death, and was heard in that he feared;"
--God hears our prayers. Even when we think we are all alone. Prayer is a discipline that must be practiced daily.

James 5:16 "Confess your faults one to another, and pray for one another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."

--We must pray for one another. Not just a simple prayer, but effectual and  fervent prayer is what gets results.

Psalms 55:17 "Evening, and morning, and at noon, will I pray, and cry aloud: and he shall hear my voice."

Psalms 37:4 "Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart."

A favorite of mine is Philippians 4: 6 "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God."

The Prayers that we pray for our husbands can change our marriages. Like Ecclesiastes 4:12 talks about a "threefold cord" which is quickly not broken. When we pray for our husbands we build strength in our families and in our homes. Prayers prayed together with our husbands builds an intimate relationship with God that the two of you can build together. The confidence that prayer brings to our husbands is a mighty tool for the hard times and great celebrations during the good times. Our families are worth the investment.

We can pray for the will of God over our lives Joshua 24:15 "And if it seem evil to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

Genesis 18:19 "For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him."

I have prayed this verse a few times.
Deuteronomy 31:8
"And the Lord, his it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed."

Isaiah 54:17 "No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord."

I Chronicles 4:10 "And Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, Oh that thou wouldest bless me indeed, and enlarge my coast, and that thine hand might be with me, and that thou wouldest keep me from evil, that it may not grieve me! And God granted him that which he requested."

I could go on and on with scriptures that I like to pray. I have heard the phrase "prayer changes things" I know from experience that it surely does change things. Take some time today and everyday to find a place to talk with God. He cares about you. He cares about what you are going through and the struggles that you face.

God Bless you and your families,
Shelli Allen, That Autism MOM

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

That Autism Mom's Guide to Homeschooling

Good afternoon to all of you. I am really excited to share with you about my newest book, That Autism Mom's Guide to Homeschooling. It is a cute little book with what I think are the most important bullets of information that mom's need to know when looking into homeschooling their children with autism. It starts off with the history of homeschooling and talks about the benefits of homeschooling. Specifically our kiddos with special needs.

I'll let you in on a little secret... I wasn't sure I was going to publish this one after I started writing it. We were going through some pretty hard stuff with one of the kids and I wasn't sure I was going to continue homeschooling. I wasn't sure I was going to survive this particularly hard time in the journey. Funny thing is after going through that, and surviving we will continue homeschooling and probably will through the duration. Isn't perspective such a wonderful thing? Homeschooling is a journey both good and bad times will come.  You chose to stick with it and come out on the end. It is up to you to make that decision for yourself. No one can make it for you.  Feel free to get your copy it is on Amazon. I will attach a link for you below for easy access.
That Autism Mom's Guide to Homeschooling
Check it out and let me know what you think.
We are coming up on the end of the school year and making decision about the coming year. The SHEM conference is coming up here in May, which I always look forward to. I will be getting supplies rounded up for the coming year. This is our fourth year and I am so excited about the growth that I have saw out of both of my kids and really my family as a whole. God has done some amazing things here. I believe that God has so much more waiting for us in the coming years.
Keep up the good fight momma's. Don't forget where your strength comes from. He has a plan for you in this time in your life. You matter to your families and you matter to God. So keep the faith.
God Bless you. From my home to your home.
Shelli Allen, That Autism Mom

Friday, August 7, 2015

Withholding Nothing

Withholding Nothing

I have said it before, I really enjoy listening to my Pandora Stations in the morning while preparing myself for the day. This song comes across my station almost daily and I have to stop what I am doing just to give God the moment.

While I realize that because of my imperfections I don't always surrender everything to God. I try to handle those intense moments in my life by myself, without thought that God handles my life problems much better than I ever could handle them myself. But I have to give it ALL to him.
This much easier done when I realize that it is not my problem to manage in first place, It's God's and how I manage the 'goings on' in my life, kind of reflect how well I surrender daily to his plan.
I don't want to withhold anything in my life. I'm not adequate enough, strong enough, or powerful enough to handle it all. God  can. When I choose, and it is a choice, to hang on to situations that are weighing me down I become more idle to myself. One of the 10 commandments states that "thou shalt have no other God's before me", to be an idle to myself never benefits me. It only weighs me down making me less productive to my husband, my children, and my God.
So today I surrender all. I withhold nothing. What ever God wants from me in this day, I want to raise to the challenge realizing that it is in HIM that I live, I move, and I have my being.
In proclamation of this, I suddenly feel lighter, Stronger, ready to conquer and over come whatever comes my way.
"Lord, I withhold nothing. I give you the problems and situations that I may face today. I turn to you Lord for my strength. I will praise you in the victory." -In Jesus Name Amen
I'm off to face my day. I hope you have an amazing day.
God bless you and your families today with the grace to be all that He wants you to be for him.
Shelli Allen, MY KIDS MOM